|What if it was 94% occupied? WHAT WOULD THAT EVEN MEAN?|
Part of recovery is getting your head out of your own ass. Easier said than done. Me me me me me. If it's not about me I could care less and if it is about me then let me tell you all about it. Such an attitude certainly isn't an indicator of a contemplative, open-minded person but it is indicative of one of the heinous traits alcoholics exhibit: egotism.
My sponsor (OH MY GOD ALL THE WORDS I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD TYPE) gave me homework for my step 3. I am to translate the following Third Step prayer into my own, agnostic words: "God, I offer myself to Thee - To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life".
I think it roughly boils down to "the Universe is bigger than me; I can't control most things; living in my head gets me nowhere; and try and do nice things for others".
But anyways, back to me. The current issue at hand is as follows:
- what scope of explanation does an alcoholic owe a potential life mate regarding their disease? Is it enough to say "I am an alcoholic in recovery", or does an alcoholic have to explain neural plasticity, share some war stories and then discuss recidivism rates?
- if you were entering into a relationship with - or contemplating continuing an existing relationship with - an alcoholic knowing that relapse is a very real possibility, would you want that sword hanging over your head?
- what logical reason would an alcoholic have to admit they had relapsed if their admission meant their partner would end the relationship?