Friday, March 16, 2018

Onward and upward. And other stupid platitudes.

This should have been me, after week one.
Today is my last day at the job I have been at for the past three years. I should have actually handed in my notice shortly after starting, but to be fair ("Letterkenny")... to be fair, I had never encountered such absolutely stunning behaviour in humans before and so the thought processes I subsequently had alternated between total shock and sheer disbelief. Coupled with my lack of self esteem and the inability to erect sensible boundaries for myself, I continued on with this job the way a woman whose husband gaslights and verbally derides her continues on with her marriage.
Ultimately the decision rested with me to stay, and stay I did. I take responsibility for it. Like the husband that buys jewelry and pretty flowers to compensate for his bad behaviour, this job paid well, I could walk to work, and it was four days a week.
I will sum up my three year existence here with something that happened shortly after I was hired, however: it adequately and succinctly covers all the feels.
I interviewed here, in the offices, a couple of times before I was hired. Both times the office manager - let's call her "V" - was so disdainful and unwelcoming that I felt intensely uncomfortable. Obviously I got the job. At no point did anyone tell me that this was a scent free environment. Even to this day, one of the principals of the organization, as well as our driver both wear cologne. So, not "knowing" any better, I applied (hilariously) Clinique's Happy before coming to work. For at least the first week, whenever I would go to ask V a question, or whenever she would deign to come by and toss something on my desk (she did this for ages until I politely pointed out the in tray on my desk that had always been there) she would literally and actually hold her nose.
To more fully paint a picture, this is a woman nearing retirement age who resembles an unattractive and aged version of Brienne of Tarth from "Game of Thrones".
Given that other people in the office wore cologne, I could not figure out her behaviour around me, and it actually reduced me to tears (shed out of sight in the bathroom of course). She never exhibited this behaviour in front of our boss, so I when I relayed this particular story to her when giving my notice my boss was quite shocked.
And that, dear reader, extrapolated out for three further years, is the essence of my time here.
It is fitting, on my last day, that I should be reconciling my boss's credit card statement that shows that she and V went out for a $257 meal on V's birthday - after the champagne toast, naturally. And it is just equally fitting that today my boss is not here, so my farewell lunch will consist of myself, my coworker N, and of course V.
Happy Friday. Happy trails.
But most importantly, Happy perfume.

2 comments:

  1. You should have left a bottle on her desk as a parting gift!

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    Replies
    1. Mwa ha ha. I may be passive aggressive, but I'm also a scaredy cat.

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