Sunday, August 5, 2012

On getting complacent

After I came home tonight, somewhat drunk, after a night of carousing with R, I repeatedly asked M if he loved me.
He politely turned it around and asked if I loved him.
Fair enough.
I've been pretty lazy on a lot of fronts of late.  I need to eat better, exercise more, drink less and a bunch of other stuff.  I haven't really been doing any of those things to any great extent.
You can't put a minimal effort into something and expect amazing results.
And so.  I shall re-commit to the process.
Sometimes I think back to the hell that we went through in October.  I remember Michael looking at me in the hallway and saying "you broke my heart" and when he said that it broke my heart.  How could I have done what I did?
And yet somehow we worked through it.  The love that we have is absurd. 
I am so grateful to have the love that I have in my life.  I couldn't ask for anything more, anything better, anything anything.
Insofar as relationships are concerned, I am not wanting.  I am ecstatic.  I am grateful.  I am in love and I am happy.
I will work on bringing the other outlying issues in line.

3 comments:

  1. Don't go getting all fat and lazy. You are my inspiration of sorts. I'm up to walking 4 miles a day in an hour. I did 5 today just for the hell of it, and that after playing pool till 11 and drinking 3 shots of Crown last night.

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  2. As your fellow carouser, I approve of this post (and I esp. approve of any video with Will Ferrell being a goofball).

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  3. I won't go getting all fat and lazy. Well, at least not right away...
    I balanced the carousing out with a nice swim today. :)

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