Monday, October 5, 2015

An end to the age old question: mailbox or rapist?

I can see all the things now!
Ha ha! Finally got the glasses that I was hoping to get for the Fondo so that I wouldn't have to wear regular glasses.  Anyways, a month later...
But what a treat.  For years I have been logging the running miles, refusing to wear glasses or contacts and not knowing what in the shit was on the horizon.  It was especially fun at night in the winter.
Dude: 55!  He's killing Scott Foley.
And now, behold!  Not only are my beady little eyes protected from bugs hitting me when I'm riding 50k an hour (fun fact: it freaking hurts), but I can also see.
I am so accustomed to just heading out and trying to guess what the looming shapes in the distance are (dog? small bear? miniature horse?) that I almost went for my run tonight without them.  Do you know how many mailboxes I have beaten up in my day having mistaken them for something else?  So much punching.
And what did I see on today's 4.23 mile run?  I saw a lot of men in SUVS and minivans that have apparently never seen a woman in shorts and a tank top running before, what with the way the seemed to be on the verge of developing whiplash.
It's like people that pick their nose when they're stuck in traffic.  Dude: I can see you two knuckles deep all up in there.  Your car isn't a magical, invisible bubble, like Michael and I one time hoped it was, as we attempted to painfully change out of our running gear and into our civvies after our first marathon.
In conclusion, "The Martian" was overrated, I managed to get a sunburn yesterday, and men that do not look like Tony Goldwyn (who is 55) still haven't mastered the art of discretion.
And possibly I'm watching too much "Scandal".

No comments:

Post a Comment