Atheists at Easter

Michael is a lapsed Catholic. 
I tried the whole God thing - sang in a Presbyterian choir, went to a Baptist youth group - but it didn't take.  And also they didn't want me.  I was the kid at bible camp that said "how come dinosaurs aren't in the bible?" which they never did answer.
Anyways, I go to Michael for all my religious questions because he generally knows the answer.  This weekend I asked him for the run down on the chain of Jesus events.  Christ was crucified on Friday and was resurrected on Sunday (I had to look that up - like, what is the Monday for then?). 
I asked what happened on Saturday, and Michael said Jesus sneaked out and went shopping.
 In other news, if you haven't been watching Derek on Netflix, you ought to.  It's a brilliant show.