So tonight we watched "The Stepford Wives" circa 1975. I gotta say I wasn't expecting a lot, but I got a lot. This was a full on feminist movie, sans bras, and with big hair and big cars. It was all about women keeping their kitchen clean and looking good for their husbands. It was way before its time. The dichotomy between the Stepford Wives and the non-Wives was not exactly subtle (no bras and "hippy clothing") but it was really a truism and not really all that untimely.I've posited for years that women are second class citizens. We don't make the same salaries as men. We aren't taken as seriously as men. We're objectified and we're abused. Daily.
I went to a strata meeting a couple of days ago (and was the only woman there), and a gentleman trying to make his point referred to us all in the masculine tense. Furthermore, the issue we were dealing with was the contractor hired for $1.6M to reno our building who isn't living up to their expectations.
On council I voted against this particular contractor.
But I'm just a girl.
Because I have no segue, I will say that I was pro-Gomeshi when the whole scandal broke. I thought: here's a revered CBC guy (I have two CBC shirts that I wear routinely); a music lover; a guy I've seen at a CBC event; and he's being castigated for his private life.
Not so, it seems.
And it seems like nine women that he was allegedly violent with also fell into the women as second class citizens class. They didn't want to raise a fuss because it would impact their career. They felt remiss because they had continued on with their relationship with Gomeshi in some form.
If they were beaten or raped, why would they have done this?
And from personal experience, it's because women are kind. We are taught to take a back seat. We are taught to put up with more than is normal. We feel compassion for the people that perpetuate violence against us. And we feel that anything that we have done - anything - makes those actions justifiable.
I didin't fight hard enough.
I answered his emails.
I answered his phone calls.
He said he loved me.
It was years ago. Am I going to pursue it now?
#beenrapedneverreported
This quote from a favorite boss: "what you permit, you promote." It covers so much in life, especially this subject.
ReplyDeleteThat's true: good quote.
DeleteI would add to that list and say: We're taught that a man's word carries more weight than a woman's. If it comes down to "he said - she said", his word will mean more and women are often dismissed as overly emotional creatures (not people - creatures!) that can't quite be trusted when it comes to facts. Somehow, so-called manly emotions like anger and revenge go with facts, but feeling vulnerable, frightened, or hurt is the exclusive realm of silly and weak-minded females and has nothing to do with what *really* happened.
ReplyDeleteI also never reported. I wish I had.
I agree. I think it's also daunting for a woman to have to seriously think about the questions she is going to be asked should she decide to pursue it: it's like being victimized all over again.
DeleteAnd I reported, but it's different when it's you husband, it holds even less water.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine, Judith. I'm sorry that happened to you and that's the reaction you were met with when you did report it.
Delete