Yeah, I'm cranky.

We want to steal your everything.

I'm normally pretty even keel (I am not normally even keel) except for when I have PMS (it's just exceptionally bad when I have PMS).
Anyways, today just sort of took the cake... and likely because for some odd reason I didn't sleep last night and when I did sleep, I had a dream about my dad getting into an argument with George Bush Sr., and about me inadvertently injuring a cyclist so badly that he was in agonizing pain and pleading for death and I was beside myself not being able to deal with the situation.
Seriously: these are run of the mill dreams for me (which says loads about my personality).
Okay, then?  I was driving to work along 1st Avenue and came to a stop at Clark with one vehicle in the slow lane ahead of me.  The curb lane has an advanced right turn signal which was going, at which point a van came screaming along - towards a red light, mind - in the left lane, and turned right onto Clark in front of the curb lane.  It was fucked.  The person in the SUV in front of me made spastic motions while I sat quietly in my car waiting for last night's melatonin to wear off.
And THEN I wanted to book next Friday off because I'm precious and too much social time in Vancouver is going to wear me out so I need a nap but HR said no because our department didn't have enough coverage.  My only way around this was to ask if someone with the Monday to Thursday shift would be interested in working Tuesday to Friday instead.  This would give them a four day weekend this weekend, but a two day weekend the following weekend.  I mean, really, a two day weekend?  I don't know that I could suffer it.
Oddly, one of my coworkers (who is married with kids, no less) took me up on the offer.  I pointed out that that meant she would only have a two day weekend next weekend and she shrugged it off.  I would rather get kicked in the crotch than give up my three day weekend, nevertheless I thanked her profusely and told her if she ever wanted to switch up her schedule I would be happy to cover for her.  I also secretly wondered why she was being so nice to me, because I'm a shitty individual.
On top of all of this wild drama, I had left a message in the afternoon and then again around 6.20pm for my Nana because I want to see her while I'm in town.  I went out for dinner with Big D tonight and told her to leave a message on my mom's voicemail and when I got home there wasn't one so I was actually getting kind of worried.
In the interim I called Michael only learn that the strata financials were delivered under my door (yay unpaid volunteer work!) and yet again the package of minutes was a few short.  This happens every freaking month and it drives me around the bend.

Like, all of it.  So we can sell it for crack.

Look: I'm happy to deliver the minutes to the weird people in my building that don't access the internets, but when I routinely tell our strata guy how many minutes we need printed up and he continually falls short it increasingly pisses me off because it wastes my time.  And now it's wasting Michael's time because he is the one who is going to have to deliver them and he worked until 1am on Tuesday and I don't like to burden him with stuff like this.
Lastly, when Big D and are were coming home from dinner tonight and I was going to get my parking pass from his car in the underground, a car pulled in in front of us, swiped in and we just followed her in.  So, she rolls down her window and says "Excuse me, I don't know you: I can't let you in".  I'm 37, clearly healthy looking, with expensive eyeglasses and shoes and Big D is wearing a nice work shirt and some pricey looking jeans and we're both greying.  When can I get my next meth fix??  Big D was good, he was like "you gotta go along with it" so I pull out my pass card and hold it up to her with a fuck you look on my face (which is actually the face I was born with) and she shrills "I can't see it!" so I say politely "You can't see it?  How about I swipe you in?" and I walk to the second gate, wave the magic card and let her in.  She mutters "I had to check" as she rolls by.
Yeah.  Clearly we look like ISIS terrorists.  And we're going to steal all the shitty bikes locked up behind the second gate.
Anyways, I overheard a friend of mine the other day telling another friend about how she goes through a list of all the things she's grateful for every day and it made me think "but that's less time watching Netflix!".
Anyways, today I am grateful for the following:

• I am grateful I didn't get into a car accident on the way to work
• I am super grateful that a coworker of mine will take a two day weekend in order for me to have a four day weekend, and do it with a smile on her face
• I am grateful and relieved my Nana called me back tonight (she was out playing bridge) and that we are meeting at "the Club" for lunch on Sunday (she even called me "chatty" because I guess I was on the phone with Michael for too long tonight)
• I am grateful for a good meal, good laughs and a great conversation with Big D tonight, as we were very overdue
• I am grateful that my mom has such good and diligent neighbours in her apartment complex (furthermore, I would have done the same thing if I hadn't recognized the people coming in even if they were super sexy and stylishly dressed)
• I am grateful that my poor husband has offered to go, floor by floor, and deliver hard copies of the strata minutes to random apartments tomorrow night

Right?  So that was super zen.

Oh!  And I'm grateful that Felix hasn't puked on the floor tonight, as well.

A puke free day above ground is worth two in the bush.

Or whatever.