Thank you.

Wow, time flies when you have a quasi-mental breakdown.
So my last entry… hmm… things just sort of went downhill from there.  I looked after Felix for about another week and in that time managed to totally overdo it on the social/eating/drinking and not exercising scale, thereby exhausting myself and actually succumbing to a couple of awesome panic attacks.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: never stop running.  I don't know how I think I can go from working out six days a week, eating healthy and drinking moderately to party mode for ten days without some sort of fallout.
Anyways, I'm back on even keel, but shit's gotta change.  I'm not good at saying "No" to people, but I'm going to start doing that.  I'm getting back into running when the next clinic starts up again.  Like Michael said "You never had any panic attacks when you were running marathons" and it's true.  Nothing burns off the stress and helps you understand what's important and develops your mental fortitude like grinding through a three hour run early Sunday morning.  It's my religion and I wandered away from the flock.
Basically I'm just angry with myself for doing this to myself.  If you're not taking care of yourself, you're no good to anyone else, and I don't like being no good.
I've gotten to a point (that I should have gotten to years ago) where I know that I have a very lucky and blessed life with a wonderful family, husband and friends in a beautiful city with a job that sometimes chafes my ass, but which pays me well and provides me with three day weekends and if I don't take care of myself I'm going to lose some or all of those things.
A couple of nights ago Michael and I were watching a local show that did a segment on a woman about my age (possibly younger) who was waiting for a kidney transplant.  It was brutal.  She is hooked up to a dialysis machine for nine hours every night and takes handfuls of pills to stave off infection.  She lives at home with her mom who helps take care of her, and the wait list is a few years long.  It was heartbreaking.  This is someone's life.  And she didn't cry or plead, but you know that's why the story was out there: to compel people to become organ donors since so few are (I am an organ donor).  It puts things into perspective, but I just don't know what is wrong with me that it would take that show to give me pause.  There are horrible situations happening all over the world all the time, but somehow when there is drama in my life I can't see the forest for the trees.
Dude: I'm not even going to be here in sixty years.  And much further down the road Earth probably won't be here, so why stress?  Human nature (or at least my nature) is a weird, ego-driven thing.
On that note, we're heading up to Penticton for six days tomorrow which will be awesome.  Going to try and curb the eating and drinking while I'm there (as much as one can over Thanksgiving, anyways).  We're bring our bikes and probably our running gear as well, so that will help.
I have a lot to be thankful for.  Not just this time of year, but always.