Akin to a teacup orbiting the moon

In addition to watching Downton Abbey, I am also reading Ken Follet's Fall of Giants.
Interesting question: why have all of the books that I have been reading these days been about the lead up to WWI?  It's really, really odd.  And now Downton Abbey?
Regardless.
I have an issue with the hymen.
Heretofore I have more or less enjoyed Follet's books, but within the first third of this book, two female characters lost their virginity and it was painful and blah blah blah.
Before I had sex I was quite worried about this. I had heard it was painful and there would be bleeding, etc, etc.  And when I actually did have sex it was rather disappointing because it lasted about 90 seconds (and I'm surely being conservative here) and there was no pain.
Let's just think about it for a moment.  If there is a hymen, how is it possible for women to menstruate?  If there is a hymen, how are virgins able to use tampons?
I won't get too graphic here, but the only time I ever experienced bleeding was when I wasn't sufficiently ready to actually have sexual intercourse, but did anyways.
So.  The hymen.
Kind of a hypothetical bullshit scenario created by men to explain away their sexual inadequacies, more or less, yes?
It's fun watching Downton Abbey.  I can't believe that it's only been in the last century that women in Canada got the right to vote.  My own  mother wasn't allowed to wear pants to high school.  Women have come so, so far (not that we ever should have had to in the first place).
But it leads me to believe that Follet is ignorant.  I can't figure out another explanation about this.  Surely his book is well thought out and researched, but where is this whole hymen-breaking thing coming from?  Has he conversed with his wife about this?  Has he experienced it first hand?
Why are we perpetuating this ridiculous virgin/whore myth?
Anyways.  Must to bed as I have a bike race tomorrow (and I shan't ride side saddle).  Thankfully I am rid of my hymen for fear of breaking through vigorous exercise.
Rule Brittania!