So the bridal shower. Yeah. WTF. It was clear that the mother of the future bride - and also possibly too, her future mother in law (and my aunt, who I love a lot) - had hijacked the show.
My cousin's fiance is awesome. They registered at one of my favourite stores, MEC, for chrissakes. One of her shower gifts was a tiny, portable, light weight cooking stove for camping. Anyways, I liked her because she seemed like a normal person and because she had no idea how bridal showers worked. Like me.
One of the things that my mom told me about bridal showers is that they are held to give people who aren't invited to the wedding an opportunity to meet the bride. I think that's quite possibly the rudest thing I can conceive. "Oooooh.... yeaaaaahhhh... no. We're not actually going to invite you to the wedding, but if you could just please give up an afternoon and come and give me presents and watch me unwrap them that would be so great".
You'd think I would be over all of this by now, but I'm not.
I guess I pretty much zoned out with all the hen party stuff, spent a lot of time looking out the window at my mother's incredible view of the water and the downtown skyline, and the wife of another cousin inquired after me. She's a really beautiful person and I think she knew I wasn't keen to be there and she tried to ask about the things that she knows I'm interested in. Bless her. Seriously. She's wonderful. And then she asked if I was going to be at the wedding and I said I wasn't going to be which I think made her feel a bit awkward, but it's the truth. And it didn't bother me.
But as I was doing up the dishes with my aunt, the mother of the bride came to bid us adieu and said to me "so we'll see you at the wedding?". Really?
When I talked to my cousin about the impending wedding at Christmas he was like it was all going to be on the DL. Then, somehow, aunts and uncles are being invited and old family friends and I know this isn't what my cousin or his fiance want. Whatever.
It absolutely was not the case that the people that were in attendance for the bridal shower were there because they couldn't make the wedding. Everyone that was there, with me being the sole exclusion, had been invited to the wedding.
And then the conversation turned to how long people had been together and what wedding anniversary was looming on the horizon. And then Michael showed up because we were going for dinner with my mom and my aunt, but some of the hen party were still there and my mom introduced Michael somewhat haltingly as my "partner" which I don't blame her for because exactly how to you refer to the person that has been with your daughter for over a decade? I don't even explain it anymore. I say "this is Michael".
The point of this blog is this: my mom has a beautiful place and I so enjoyed watching the dragon boaters this evening and I really enjoyed my ten mile run along the seawall and being able to meet up with a good friend for dinner.
Felix and I are getting along swimmingly. He clambered out from beneath the couch almost immediately and is currently lying on the bed that I am shortly going to retire to. Bonus: he hasn't puked on anything yet.
But on the marriage front. This whole debacle (in my mind, because molehills = mountains) has actually put me off marriage. I want to be married and I would like to marry Michael, but not if marriage involves anything remotely like what I experienced yesterday. Anyways. I don't mean to winge incessantly but I just did and certainly the problems I am experiencing in my life are of so little significance as to be laughable, but also it's my blog and so there.
AMEN!!! Pass the Scotch! I look at it as one of the biggest ego boosting activities people can engage in and it's so contagious! Two people decide that they want to spend their lives together, that should be it. Go to the JP, Priest, Rabi, Preacher and it's done, "in the eyes of they Lord...." that's all that needs to be there. IF someone wants to give you a gift that's their choice, whether they are invited to witness the event or not. Emmily Post is dead and gone, Martha Stewart... who cares what she says (yeah she's got some great ideas about taking care of laying hens), it's such a waste. A waste of precious time and energy, paper plates and plastic silverware, and money... tons and tons of money. The last wedding I attended was 22 years ago, and the marriage lasted 2 years. I wasted my time and a pair of panty hose on those people and then didn't even try to make it work! I wonder what they did with my gift? That brings us to the shower. I feel like if you are going to take on the responsibility of building a home then you should be prepared to purchase all the accessories that come with it, don't bum off people! Does anyone really need a engraved crystal handled cake server? Hell, just slip them some cash, they are going to need to pay next months rent. I don't do showers either. (Don't get me started on baby showers.) Some traditions need to go by the wayside, like blood letting.
ReplyDeleteBTW - camping gear is awesome!
Marriage is an outdated, antiquated institution which continues to permit the patriarchal hegemony to enslave women to their whims.
ReplyDeleteWomen need to wake up and stop subscribing to this male-generated mercantile fantasy.
Bang on, Jomomma! I guess I should cancel next week's leeching appointment. ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, Anon. Unfortunately at this junction I think it's more women than men who are perpetuating this fantasy.
ReplyDeleteNo, don't hold off on the leeching, I saw that they were making a beneficial come-back on Dr. Oz! I agree, this unnecessary part of getting married is a 'Gurl thang'. If you were to poll men, they'd probably want to do without all the hoopla.
ReplyDeleteELOPE!
ReplyDeleteYeah... maybe. I'd kind of like a few key people to be there. I'm sure my brother would just be thrilled.
ReplyDeleteWould you be happy to elope?
Do like my brother and his wife, "we're going to get married in St.John on the beach, if you want to come this is when it will happen..." They told me and the hubby and kids, my sister, her mom and her brother, and my niece of course. My sister and niece were the only ones who could make it. I regret not going b/c I could have. Oh well, I have pictures.
ReplyDelete