What are you, stupid?

It's hard to go back to work after being on vacation for two weeks.  We always see the sights that are to be seen in the places that we go, but we're also equally happy just to simply walk for hours around a place that we've never been to before, and to which we may not ever get a chance to return.
But return we did.  Back into the thick of it almost immediately.  People came by my desk to express their concern over my well being.  Lots of coworkers came by to say they had been thinking of me, one of them gave me a hug and I was touched to know that a couple of people in my department who, like me, also get Mondays off, called in to work to see if anyone had heard if Michael and I were safe.  That was really touching.
SuperMommy came into town to stay with Michael and I at my mom's place to do the BMO half marathon on Sunday. I must say that SuperMommy looked like she had been working out and hitting it pretty hard since I saw her last (and she looked great then, as well).  She was super determined.  She was very excited and feeling like she was going to have a great race, which she absolutely did.  She freaking nailed it.
For me, maybe not so much.  I can barely walk today.  I've never run a half marathon three weeks after a full and - perhaps if you're super fit it's not a big deal - I would certainly think twice about ever attempting something like that again.  I was able to get through the race fairly well, but I just couldn't move out of second gear so my time was my third or fourth worst out of the sixteen halfs I've run to date. 
But, as I mentioned, I wasn't running this race for time or for accolades.  Like a fellow runner in my clinic that came to Boston with us said: "I have unfinished business".
I have unfinished business with Boston, too.  I have survivor's guilt.  I have compassion and respect.  I have a shared experience.  I have residual fear and determination.
It was a hard run, but Vancouver is a beautiful city and so I tried to enjoy the run and the views and the spectators and simply the fact that I was able to be out on a random Sunday running this particular race.
And (ironically) it was really warm like Boston was and I had chosen to wear my long sleeved Boston finishers shirt which really didn't make things better, but I'm still glad I did.  The run killed me, but I don't care.  SuperMommy had a PB by about ten minutes and was looking so fresh and happy at the end.  I received lots of support from friends and people in my run group before and during the race.  A coworker even tumbled out of bed early to come down and give me a high five.
Michael and R came out to cheer for us at the end and I've gotta say: you have special friends in ones that come out to cheer for you in a race that starts at 7am in the bloody morning.
Afterwards R and SuperMommy and my mom and I went for brunch.  It was nice to have such a culmination of friends and family on that particular day.  I'm happy to experience it any day, really.  And I hope for more of it. 
Life is short and you want to surround yourself with the people that you want to be around, and I think I do that very well.
So I think that's kind of it for me and marathons for a while.  I've done ten of them, and fifteen or sixteen halfs and I'm a bit tired.  I ran my first half marathon nine years ago and I swear to god I didn't realize I'd been running as long as I have been.  I've been increasingly injured over the last two or three years, so it's time to get on the bike and try some trail running and maybe get into the pool somewhat.
Running has been an incredibly integral part of my life over the last decade.  It's saved me in more ways than one and on more than one level.  My Sunday morning runs have been my church and my religion and, when you're struggling alone on a course for three and a half hours, you get to know yourself pretty well.
It's time for the next chapter.