2012

Trying to wrap this year up in my head and compartmentalize it like I like to do with everything. 
This year feels a bit different.  I, right now, feel a bit different.
There's no real wrap up.  I can tell you the big ticket items from 2012: we went to Boston and New York; I struggled with post-tib tendonitis for most of the year; my brother and his partner became pregnant; I bought a new (to me) car; I moved into Michael's apartment and then he moved into mine; Michael's mother broke her hip; my grandmother was in the hospital a lot; Felix didn't die; and my uncle cried a couple of days ago when my brother and the lot of us were leaving because Jay looks so much like my dad.
It was, overall, a pretty good year (with some ups and downs).
I have no complaints (aside from: the state of the environment; mass consumerism; the impending fiscal cliff; the fact that most of the people that created the decimation of the global economy didn't get punished for it; lobbyists; the chips in our windshield from our recent trip to Penticton; my SI joints; and Rob Ford).
I have a very nice life.
I signed up for those heretofore mentioned meditation classes in the new year.
I deliberately backed into the person that parked too close behind me today.  See above sentence.
Fundamentally?  I'm just very tired right now.  Like the stock markets, I'm stagnant.  Like the mainstream media, I'm not reporting anything that hasn't been reported before.
Hell, I haven't even finished the book club book that's due in a couple of days. 
I can do better.  I know.  But lately I'm having a tough time getting a hard on for anything.
The best thing that I take away from this year, however, is the below.
Sometimes I back myself into corners just so that I can fight my way out of them.  And sometimes it helps to recall how hard it is to fight my way out of those very corners.
And hopefully this year will be the year that I come to understand why I back myself into these corners so I can stop fighting everything all the time.
I want to be present.