Ahhhhh.... what, now?

Where to start, where to start?
Fun bits first: went to see Dan Brubeck (Dave Brubeck's son) at the Kay Meek theatre in West Van on Friday.  Holy cow: best $40 I ever spent.  It was a super intimate setting (cabaret style)  in a small venue and the band was exquisite.  Apparently Dan was encouraged to give a bit of a back story about the songs they were playing (which were mostly - if not all - his dad's songs) and he told some very entertaining stories about him and his dad which made me like them both all the more.  I can't say enough about the musicianship  over the course of the evening: it was superb.
Saturday I went for a rather mammoth walk with R out to West Van and along the seawall and back.  Apparently it was sunny, but the fog keeps on obscuring things.
Sunday we visited my Nana and Ed.  What can I say?  She's been in and out of the hospital a lot in the last year and it showed.  She's such a wonderful, kind, funny, attractive, thoughtful woman and, as I was leaving, she gave me a big hug and said "You're the only one of my grandchildren that comes to visit it me" and then she thanked me at least twice for coming.  It just killed me.  She is my last living grandparent and she's wonderful to be with and I know that the two or three hours we spent with her was really valued, even if her husband hates Obama and couldn't understand why the women singing the national anthem prior to the Superbowl couldn't just "stick to the script".
We do not have forever, as was evidenced by a call from Michael's mother to inform him that his own grandmother (who has made it past 100) is no longer eating and is on morphine.  I'm sad that I never met Michael's father before he passed, but I am thankful that I met Des - Michael's grandfather - and Ivy.
Today was our annual AGM which boils down to a 1.35 million dollar assessment, of which I am on the hook for about 16k .
Fuck me (oh: we'll get to that later).
I'm about to take a year off, I get hit with a 16k bill and Michael's on the verge of losing his job.  Holy shit snacks.
Oddly, because my Jackets for Jasper is a bit too big (yay for being built like a 14 year old boy!) I emailed my friend about it and we went back and forth a bit about strata happenings and he has a pretty good story that he wants to regale me with in person while I shop through their "jacket emporium" (sorry, R: I think I might be getting a turquoise jacket too!  Let's just not get the same raven tattoo....)
But back to the, um, fucking.  So yesterday we watch the Superbowl and get a little squiffy (yay Baltimore!) and hit the sack and I promise to deliver the goods today and then the AGM goes from 6.30 until about 9pm. And we get home and have dinner and I feel bad that I can't get it up but I'm all kinds of agitated.  Michael kept on giving me hugs and then jokingly asked what my problem was.  The 16k assessment?  Not earning any money on my leave?  Him possibly losing his job?  His grandmother dying?  My grandmother's failing health?  My jacket not fitting perfectly?  It was funny.  I didn't realize all the rather major things that are currently on our plate that we just have to shoulder and move forward with.
Right.  So all that is out there.  Yes.
This was a really boring blog in which I vented a lot but I really, really can't afford the $125 therapy bill right now so you have to be subjected to my shit.  And we all have our own shit.  Writing this out helps me understand that.
On a somewhat related note, Michael found this really interesting blog that I think I will start to pay more attention to.
Discombobulated says what now?